Book Cover Illustrations

I recently read an interesting blog posted by Jo-Anne Vandermeulen (here). Vandermeulen was a bit taken aback by a “reviewer” on Amazon.com who suggested the author tooted her horn too much in her book Promotional Tips for Authors.

What an odd criticism. If ever there was a books in which an author should “toot her horn,” this would be it.

Just between you, me and the lamp post, I’ve been in the book business for several decades now, and if there’s anything that too often is true, it is that, “Those who can’t write, write harsh reviews.”

My advice? Pay the same respect to their criticism that you might extend toward your pet poodle after it had an accident in the front room.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are good, professional reviewers who offer fair and sometimes even helpful advice. Sometimes what they offer in way of criticism is helpful and should be taken to heart. And it never hurts to re-consider what you’ve done and how you might do better.

Likewise, there are books that that really are a waste of ink and deserve the slings and arrows of the critic.

But all that said, there really are too many reviewers (especially those who can only get “published” in the product review sections of Amazon.com) who are simply mean-spirited, jealous twits who get their jollies by tearing others down. (I suspect many of these people are so immature in their social/psychological development as to have trouble distinguishing authors as being real people, instead objectifying them as something rather that as a sensitive person of flesh-and-bone. Thus they will say just about anything with little thought to the damage they may cause.)

The second point is that authors today have to promote their own books in order for that title to succeed. Today even major publishers budget little or nothing to promote titles that aren’t expected to be best sellers (thereby creating a self-fulfilling prophecy). This leaves authors on their own when it comes to promoting their book.

They either toot their own horn or more than likely the book will suffer poor sales.

As Vandermeulen noted, “There’s no music if you don’t toot your own horn…. Toot your own horn, if others don’t like your music, they can always wear earplugs.”

Good advice for any author wanting their book to succeed.

As a kid, I once read a biography of P. T. Barnum. After that, whenever I feel a loss of nerve or need to promote myself but feel self-conscious about doing so, I try to put myself in Barnum’s shoes and consider how he would have handled the situation.

“What would Barnum have done” can serve an author or other person engaged in self promotion well, I think.

Of course P. T. Barnum had his critics who derided him for pandering to the masses, exaggerating what he was offering to entertain the public and so forth. Sort of like what this critic of Vandermeulen did.

Barnum did his best to ignore the critics and, in the end, he enjoyed that greatest of revenge, laughing all the way to the bank.

May the good Lord spare any author from those crazed, self-appointed Amazon.com “reviewers” who too often write with little knowledge punctuated with flourishes of poor spelling, spew their unfounded hyper-critical comments, and then deliver a quick blow below the belt with a one-star rating.

Anyone who has gone to the work of creating a book deserves better.

Until we can line these miscreants up before a firing squad, an author is well advised ignore these critics.

Unless, of course, they say something positive along the way. Then pull the quote from the mess of words and treat it as the Gospel truth. Maybe even use the quote to advertise your book.

That’s what P.T. Barnum would have done.

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Duncan Long is a freelance book cover illustrator and sometimes author. In addition to teaching a college writing course and also teaching at the Long Ridge Writers Group, Long has written 13 novels for HarperCollins and Avon Books, all maligned by jealous critics who he has learned to ignore. You can see more of his book cover illustrations at: http://DuncanLong.com/art.html
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